Get out your Kleenex kiddies...I'm in the mood for some warm fuzzies.

Eleven years ago today I was horribly depressed...I had left a job as a receptionist for a travel PR firm because I was too busy soloing and singing at St. Patrick's Cathedral. The bad part was that I wasn't so busy that I had no time to think. Or eat. Or crawl under my covers and not get out of bed. I was living with a roomie who I think must have been in denial over my far from state of grace...it's something that never came up. I was after all the good time girl, big boned fun. I woke up in the morning and had some coffee with him and showered and got dressed and waited for him to leave for work. And then I slept and ate and ate and slept and only left the house for rehearsals and groceries....I was at my heaviest weight. Dark times. I started chatting online to a group of people who were around at the same time everyday and it was a nice break from reality. I could be social and not have to make excuses for the way I looked. No one could see that I was still in my pajamas and sitting in front of the computer with a pint of macaroni salad and a large bag of Cool Ranch Doritos. As I started chatting online more, I also decided I wanted to leave the house more and wanted to date. I worked more regularly and also signed on with a weight loss center to drop some weight.

I started talking to this fun guy who I think was probably just as depressed as I was...the reasons were different but the conclusion kind of felt the same...we were stuck with our pathetic situations and it felt good to be able to talk about it and/or to ignore it if only for a little while.

Ten years ago today I was a hot mess. I had four days to come face to face with someone I had bared my soul to on the phone and over a monitor screen. I pretended I wasn't completely freaking out and prayed for a miracle.

Just one thought of that day at the airport and my eyes still well up with tears. The great international dividing barricade. You strolling by whistling a little tune because in my scrutiny I missed what was right before my eyes. You in your little jeans with mismatched laces on your boots and long thick black hair. Me "glowing" with too much heat and makeup. Walking down the gate and finally being able to reach out for you. That first kiss and you saying "take me home" as we fell into an embrace.

Nine years ago today we were truly living on love. No television, a $100 a week work study stipend, Rice a Roni and a godawful apartment in the bowels of Jersey City.

It was a challenging year and yet it was fabulous too. We knew the year would end and we would have to figure out what came next. We had to tie up loose ends and start new beginnings...on no money and a wing and a prayer.

Eight years ago today I was temping at Citibank on a trading floor with a horrible head cold. I was almost at my heaviest weight because I finally met the one person who loved me as I was...not potential, not a work in progress. I was sick as a dog and yet I felt free as a bird. Your peoples are my peoples at the courthouse once we found my wedding ring which for some reason had gotten lost in a potted plant and we were able to be and stay together.

It was and remains that love that is the strong foundation for everything I can be today.

Happy Anniversary to my sweet and sexy Scotsman. It is hard to believe that I am more in love today than yesterday and the day before. I am more excited for tomorrow than you could ever possibly know.