Monday was glorious.  I did absolutely nothing.  I sat in my cupcake jammies pondering the first time in months that I have had a real weekend with no obligations - work, school or otherwise.  I scratched my newly almost buzzed head (not completely buzzed...it's a kind of flock of seagulls 'do that I am totally digging) and pondered other times in my life where my hair symbolized a severance of ties.  I am a 30 something corporate rebel and I do have cause.

Friday was complete bizarro land.  Well let me go further back and say the four weeks leading up to last Friday was total bizarro land.  I gave a month's notice thinking I had some kind of moral obligation to myself to end things in a positive way....nope, turns out I'm just a fucktard.  Then I spent three weeks being completely ignored by the boss...hmmm where have I seen this emotional passive aggressive crap before?  Oh yes, my last investment banking job.  Then the last week was absolutely chaos.  I started writing up procedures and Ghuzbag instead wanted a task list so he could clearly demonstrate who in his group would be taking on my work.  Task list?  Completely useless exercise highly glorified by type A  project managers in Corporate America.  So chaos was a little bit of oh shit things are going to suck for awhile and then some extraneous stuff like oh we're going to miss you, and oh we really need to get together before you go - ummm...you've had five years beotches.  What are the PTB going to miss?  Someone in a menial job who actually gave two shits when she shouldn't have bothered.  The happiest people in large corporations are ones who just go with the flow....not the overachievers and not the poor sad sacks who spend their entire work day surfing porn and stealing paper clips.  The happiest employees just kind of coast through with mediocre performance management reviews and mediocre commitment to getting the job done.  Sadly, as much as I don't want to give a shit, I end up giving a shit.  BLEGH I HATE THAT!!!!

So anyhoo I had a final week of running around completing projects and a final week of lunches, dinners, drinks and cake.  A flurry of people and yet at the end of the day on Friday, I was walking out the door alone.  It was kind of surreal and felt sort of slow motion.  It didn't quite feel good, but yet wasn't bad either.  It just was. 

I will say that I was pleasantly surprised that no one balked about me trying my hand at dog grooming or even moving to New Orleans (apart from the tasteful oh work was so horrible you think even hurricane ravaged land is better commentary)  I was fully expecting to be laughed at or having to justify a change in lifestyle.  But not a peep.  In fact, people were more times than not quite positive of my having the chutzpah to make a big change.  What I found annoying were most women had to add the tag "well it's easy because you have Chaz", or "it's easy because you have a man".  Not one male said that to me...don't you find that fascinating?  I do. 

Don't get me wrong...Chaz is the man.  I have never ever said otherwise.  I give him a whole heck of a lot of the credit for many a fantastic thing that has happened in my life.  However, I moved to NYC with no one.  No one and not a pot to piss in.  I had a two week sublet and three hundred dollars worth of time to get settled, find a job and find a place to live.  And all on my lonesome with a lot more emotional baggage and just hope of a new and exciting adventure.  And I did it.  And it was an exciting adventure.  I just feel sorry for women who think that life begins after the man or after the weight loss or after FILL IN THE BLANK.

Anyway...

I'm waking up these days  and doing the jig of joy!! New Orleans here we come! Puppies here I come! 

I'm now currently in the midst of finishing up grooming school full time.  Yesterday was so wonderful being home by 5:15 and spending the day away from a computer and doing physical labor.  It was really awesome.  We're surrounded by boxes and trying to be organized and planning our road trip.  ROAD TRIP!!!!!  About ten years later in life than what I wanted but who cares!  Scotsman is creating a master play list and I'm writing lists and obsessing...just the thing I do best.

Our Bayonne place was miraculously rented out a week from our posting it..we couldn't have asked for a better situation.  One of our tenants is moving out at the end of May and our plan is to leave the Big Apple on June 2nd.

Wee haa!

I am a chaos junkie.

Well not disaster and evil demons and destruction chaos, but I like the rollercoaster of adventure.  I live for the thrill that change brings.  I'm not sure if this is normal, but I do know that what other people call normal puts me in an anxious filled, one step away from curled up and rocking in a corner on the bed place.  When I am not in action mode, it seems I have too much time to think.  Action mode thinking is good...I get a ton accomplished, I am thinking with goal filled purpose etc.  When in "maintainence" mode (see?  I'm actually coming to a good segue here), I start having death and aging anxiety and I start feeling that quiet trickle of desperation trickle in and fill up my insides until I feel like I am going to drown.

I'm thinking that this somehow relates to weight loss and the dreaded maintaining or even worse, creeping back up.  When I was wildy successful, nothing could get in my way. I had a drive and a purpose to get that old fattie gone and this time also had a loving supportive husband.  When I hit a wall the first time, I wasn't ready to accept that 200 lbs was an ok weight.  So I retried all the old things along with some crazy new things and because I was spinning my wheels and angry, some of the weight came back.  But this weight gain and bouts of compulsive eating was still action mode.  I was just replacing the frenetic action of filling out weight loss diaries and weight lifting journals and food lists with ...well food.  And the act of eating with purpose well beyond nourishment of the body.

 So fast forward and I get my medical issues sorted and my head sorted and I am back to the 200 place (well actually now I'm at 205 thanks to 4 weeks of kitchen renovation and having to eat out or take out) and last year I had more anxiety episodes that I really remember before.  Now thinking about it, I realize that maybe a contributing factor was that lack of motion in all parts of my life that was making me a little crazy.  Finally I reached a cross roads where everything was good/stable/normal/maintainence mode, and I started feeling the restless agitation again.  Had the five year plan not started coming to fruition, I could well be standing here before you fighting the weight gain demons again...and 60lb demons vs the 5-8lb I plan to do battle with.

I'm not sure what my point is except maybe that I think compulsive eaters are perhaps just compulsive people who found safety or instant gratification of their compulsion with eating and food.  The desire to be compulsive does not go away...EVER.  Compulsive eating can be controlled, but for me, I have to accept that my itch to be compulsive or action filled  will trickle out in other areas of my life.  I have to accept that to feel like I am growing and thriving, I have to have one foot on a flashy skateboard.  And action and new adventures with thought out and minimized risk sure beats drowning in anxiety or drowning in food for that matter.

Life update:

The kitchen can now be cooked in...thank the gods!!!!  We have one more day of work with odds and sods to be completed but no workers in sight.  Which is ok because they haven't gotten paid yet.  Chaz did play terribly polite but bad cop (yum) and checked to see if they were ever going to come around.  I think the threat of me ebaying their tools got them to agree to Monday.

Easter this weekend - holy smokes how did that happen?  I can honestly say I have yet to have my cadbury egg this season and that is in fact some kind of heresy.

I'm packing, tossing, ebaying, amazon market placing with fervor and passion.  I can't believe that I am fetching some coins for paperbacks..this is wonderful and I'm putting it in my must-pay-the-movers tip jar.  Selling cookbooks on Amazon (greysangel) and paperback lots on ebay (scotsheart) in case anyone is interested.

Speaking of movers - I finally have gotten my mom to get over the fact that I am not strapping the boxes to my back and walking them down to New Orleans.  Seriously.  She suggested Pods which was a tremendously good idea except for the fact that they need a driveway and we have none.  So she spent the last two weeks urging me to consider all roads which basically pointed to us schlepping our house down.  Oh hells no.  I drive an old honda accord. Honda accords are NOT moving trucks.  There is no way we are hitching anything to my little car or that I am going to turn into rhoda the big wheeler for a couple days.  I'll pack...no probs there..in fact I'm probably way too anal to let other people do that business. But having a reputable company move us?  I'm sure it will be worth every penny.

Speaking of couple of days - anyone got some must stops between Bayonne and New Orleans?  I'm thinking maybe barbeque in Birmingham, but it's a long way between here and even there.  I'm thrilled and terrified of the road trip aspect of this move.  Me + Chaz + puppies for 18+ hours = we best have some damn good music.

Our house here goes up for rent hopefully next week.

I'm flying down to NOLA for one night only to do job interviews on Tuesday.  For totally opposite ends of the spectrum, I have one interview for a historic development group and another for a dog grooming business

We are officially count down to I QUIT!!! WOO.  I'm vested.  WOO.  I'm giving notice for the end of April so that I can finish up dog grooming school in May and have some time to pack and finish up in this neck o' the woods.  Chaz is trying to hold out to the end of April so that we can stagger the last pay checks and income coming in.

Life is looking sunny on our side of the street!

13 going on 30 is one of my favorite chick flicks...it's right up there with Mean Girls and Bring It On.  Jennifer Garner is adorable and though I'm not nearly as cute or fashionable as Jennifer at 30 but really 13, I sometimes feel like I'm right there with her.  I certainly don't feel 36.  Somehow in my mind I've conjured up a 36 year old to be mature and doing grown up things.  While I'm fairly mature, I often don't like to be.  I like to read Young Adult novels...especially in the sort of science fictiony/fantasy/supernatural genre.  I like Hello Kitty, cutesy t shirts (johnny cupcakes and David and Goliath please!) and cheap jewelry and sparkly makeup.  I wear a bear hat with ears and rain boots with cherries.  I do fairy dances and make up songs.  I think I grew up really super fast and somehow missed the kind of irreverence and whimsy of being a kid.  So silly pops out here and there.  Is there a point where we *need* to grow up completely?  Is it ok to do things like hold down a job, own a home and still like to wait until the last Funyun before licking your fingers clean?

Anyhoo in case you haven't picked up on it yet, it's my birthday.  Yup.  And usually I am counting down from the New Year to this lovely day.  Somehow this year the first two months have escaped me and so this year is completely without ritual.  Like counting down.  Like torturing Chaz with said countdown.  He's gotten off SO lucky this year with maybe only 10 references to my approaching special day.  And there aren't any plans and I don't even get to make a cake (which gives me the perfect opportunity to buy something extra sinfully yummy desserty delicious).  Not to be all New Yorker, but it's a little crazycakes right now: 

Work is busy and yet I'm strangely detached from it now that I'm vested.  Oh yes that's right.  Those beotches are working for me now.  By some strange ironic turn of events I got a letter in the mail informing me that the pension now vests at 3 years, not 5.  And while I could have wasted energy shaking my fists of rage that I get this 2 months away from my five year finish line instead of OH TWO YEARS AGO, I didn't.  Instead I whooped and hollered like I won a million dollars and did the bouncing, crazy David Brent dance of delight.  So needless to say, frankly my dears, I don't give a rat's ass.  I've officially started looking for jobs in New Orleans and trying to work my few leetle connections.

And let's just say that looking for a job in New Orleans when you're in New York City is a little hard.  Not impossible with this new fangled thang called the interweb (my property manager is so cute when he's says things like interweb and Craigspace and facepage)..but a challenge when you're competing with people who are already there.    I actually got an interview for a facilities manager job and because of jury duty am having to beg for a phone interview so that I can still be in the running.  This is the part where I beg for some prayers and sacrificial offerings that I at least get considered!

Mom's praying for me.  Which I think actually helped us as we only lost 2 weeks of mortgage before renting the NOLA place out.  Yippie skippie we don't need to put Angus and the cup out on the corner for spare change!  And the best part is downstairs is rented out on a 6 month lease and upstairs 3 month lease...POIFECT!

Which leads me to jury duty.  As you can guess I got picked for a case.  And while there are incredibly long periods of wanting to poke your eyes out boredom and waiting/down time, I think everyone should do this shit once in their lives.  I am learning so much and I have a new found respect for the process.  It's not always fair and not perfect by any means, but hey it's better than having a random body part cut off.  So more dancing of joy that I don't have to be in the office right now, but it's hard because I'm still having to get a lot of my work done which means logging on during my lunch hour and after court.

So all that would be enough, except we have to throw a gutted kitchen into the mix.  Hells yeah.  Kitchen renovation.  It's amazing to me that with all the renovation we have done, you would think we would not be flabbergasted each and every time that 1)contractors lie (actually House says everyone lies) 2)it's *never* an easy/fast job and 3)there is always at least one surprise.  So our one week kitchen job is now approaching the second week and all they have done is gut the room and update electrics.  Can we say cold, dank dirty room?  Can we say an inch of dust EVERYWHERE?  My kitchen supplies, canned goods and furniture all in the dining and living rooms?  The hardest part is that we are making do with a coffee pot, a crock pot and a microwave.  Shit sux. 

But it's a means to an ends y'all!  We're going to get our Bayonne place pretty so that it will rent out, get some jobs and high tail our asses on out of here!  Happy Birthday to me!

Lest y'all think my life is perfect, I'll let you know that I am typing this missive from a cold hard floor in the most fugliest of judicial administration buildings in the bowels of Jersey City.  That's right...jury duty.  And while most normal people would groan and moan about this esteemed civic duty, I actually welcome the diversion from Wall Street and my metrosexual infested job environs.  I have never done jury duty so I was dreaming up all sorts of hot Law and Order type scenarios...I'm holding onto that slim hope as it is now 3:10pm and we have yet to even go through the voix dire selection question and answer. 

First I nearly went through a full cavity search just to get into fugly building.  Then I spent a good two and a half hours waiting in a very hot and crowded room to have my name called.  Then it was shuffle off in the world's smallest and slowest elevator into a (another hot) court room where we got to hear what we were in for.  Then I got to watch 75% of the jurors try to get themselves excused from this case.  I was not one of the 75% and there's a good reason.  If something ever happened where I found myself on the other side of that swinging little door flap, I would hope to hell that my so called peers were going to be there for me and not trying to worm their way out of an obligation due to hang nail or broken hair follicle.  So what do you know...JeAnne does place value on doing the right thing.  Plus my boss urged me to find a way out of it and in the famous words of Faith in Buffy's body, "I won't do that..it's just *wrong*."

So next it was lunch time and now a bunch of new jurors were called to pussy through the excusal process again.  Oye!  Thank the powers that be for internet connection and lots of magazines in the holding pen. 

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I seriously hope that all of you find a little love in your hearts.  I know it's easy for me to be all laissez faire about it, but it's an important message.  I spent a long time hating myself, hating the way I looked, not taking care of myself the way I should have.  I gave my love away for so long because I didn't think it was worth anything and I thought it was the only way to get a little somethin somethin in return.  While my weight never stopped me from doing the things I wanted to do, my weight was a way of not dealing with all of the deep pain, rejection, insecurity and abandonment I had tucked away.  With all of that buried, there was no room to really just love.  Valentine's Day at the end of the day is whatever you want it to be.  It can be hearts and flowers and googly eyes with your honey and it can also be a moment to take stock of the people, places and things we hold near to us.

By the looks of things, there will be beaucoup downtime tomorrow as well.  With my birthday around the corner, I'm thinking a serious things I love post may be in order next.  A girl can dream can't she??

a lemon tree.

Seriously y'all...Check it out.  I swear I bought this house because of a lemon and fig tree. 

But lo and behold:

You're totally jealous right??  And this was like HALF of what I picked..had to give the other half to my buds David and Phillip from the Royal Street Courtyard.

You just cannot look at this picture without smiling.

And of course when life gives you lemons you make:

Barefoot Contessa Lemon Cake...best. quick. bread. ever.

and...


Cooking Light Lemon Honey Drop Cookies.

Don't let the name fool you...the only thing that makes them light is that the serving size is supposed to be 1/4 of the picture you see before you  

So life is good.  Lemons = Sunny sweet lemony goodness.

More to come.

So yeah, January 14 is a tad late for the new year traditions but what can I say it's been a bit insane busy what with being a national land baron, working in hell corporate america, being a part time student and oh yes trying to have a social life as well. 

It's funny...I predicted that as soon as we signed on our new house that all of a sudden our social calendar in NYC would fill up and it's totally happening!  Don't get me wrong - we have zero buyer's remorse and have come to terms with the possibility of having to eat ramen and goverment cheese for a few months should we find no renters.  But it's a phenomenon that's happened both when I left CT and then when we went from our apt in JC to our house in Bayonne.  We are bonding with people, old friends and new...hey why the hell not!?  The great news is unlike Bayonne, we've already bonded with some peeps in NOLA and we're not even there yet...WOO HOO...pass the Crystal and pour me an Abita!

But this post is not about moving or friends..it's about 2007.  In general - good times I say!!  It was a pretty great year overall and Chaz and I are leaving the dreaded 7 year mark - SCORE!

For more deets, read on.  I did this last year and liked being able to refer back to it so if it ain't broke, don't mess with it.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you’d never done before? - Well I stuck through a real icky time in my corp america reality and it will pay off in 08.  I also got to meet and work with Tim Gunn...how many people can say that?!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? - I don't make resolutions per se. Generally I write a letter listing some feelings over the year and goals for the following year. I did keep most of my resolutions.  The thing I am truly the most proud of (like wanting to scream from the rooftops proud) is that I started the year weighing exactly what I did at the start of 2007 (203)... I KNOW!!!!  I was able to maintain for A WHOLE YEAR within a five pound range.  Of course I would love to lose a bit more..I'm not perfect and I'm currently over the coveted onederland.  But I'm in such a great head place right now and am thrilled to have a handle on the whole food/excercise/weight balance.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? - No but a hell of a lot of celebrities did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? No, thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit? We visited no other countries!  I am shocked and it's the first year we didn't travel ...I think since we have met!  In all fairness we have good reason...namely planning and plotting our next steps in the "five year plan" and the week + taping of the show which sucked a lot of my vacation time.  I did go to Key West for my Wild Squad gathering...does that count?

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? - I would like to have more spontaneity, more exuberance and more fun!  I wrote this last year and we got better...really!  We were so serious the first year being homeowners and living a little further out.  But last year we started socializing more, both together and apart.  The only thing lacking in 08 is some of our fun hobbies have fallen by the way side and I would like to have a little more time for that.  I think 08 is going to be a let our hair down and really have a good time...new place, new careers and new frame of mind away from the anxiety and youth driven NYC.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? - Not specific dates but there were definite key moments...hitting my all time weight low of 196 (even if it was just one week!), Wild Squad in Key West, 7 year anniversary with the handsome Scotsman, reuniting with New Orleans, the Tim Gunn show and week of taping and realizing that we are finally in the last year of the five year plan..it's getting so exciting now!!!  Lastly our house closing in NOLA...truly the best Christmas present ever!!!!  And that's a date I won't forget!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? - I keep mentioning the show and it really was such a huge impact for me.  Not that fashion is everything..it was the high and confidence of being validated for walking the walk and talking the talk.  Being able to represent the zaftig sexy gal everywhere and getting in touch with everything that is me today..matching up the outside to what's going on on the inside.  It's so powerful to own *it* and I don't have to give myself that permission anymore...I just am.  No apologies, no bullshit guilt.  I'm me - take it or leave it.

9. What was your biggest failure? - My biggest failure has been to let singing go by the wayside.  I would love love LOVE to find a way to let music back into my life and to move people again with song - on my terms and for fun.  I truly feel I have been gifted with this talent and I want to use it if nothing else as just another form of my self expression. 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Apart from the cold from hell as soon as I signed the mortgage papers, nothing!!  Thank the PTB for that!

11. What was the best thing you bought? - Our house in NOLA!!!  Also my doggie grooming tuition...I'm loving it!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? - My life with Chaz is a celebration and a gift..one that I hope I never take for granted.  He anchors me without weighing me down.  Our relationship is extremely special and I love him for letting me be who I want to be.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? - I've tried to cut down on my celebrity magazine consumption/ho-ishness because it depresses me that we are so focused on Britney having a nervous breakdown or Lindsey snorting up or whatever.  It's so easy to get a little buzz going from reading about other peoples' wackiness, but there really is so many other things to focus on...fun, good, bad etc.  Of course if it's about Brangelina I still want to be InTouch coz they're like neighbors y'all!

14. Where did most of your money go? Most of our money either went back into our NJ house (bathroom/bedroom renovation) or down payment on our NOLA house.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? - I'm most excited about the five year plan fruition.  My second year into my job, I started to get the move bug...hub told me to wait and to start thinking about a 5 year plan.  Without a plan, I would just end up jumping to another office job I didn't like and was way over qualified for.  At the time it seemed so far away.  Now it's here!!!  We had formulated ideas, thoughts etc  ..but now vestment is right around the corner.  School is in place.  We already found our next dream place to live.  It's just so exciting to be venturing off to the next part of our lives.  I feel for a lot of reasons that my 20s was kind of all about getting to where I needed to be...mentally and physically.  30's has been and will continue to be having the fun I missed along the way.  We are going to be in a city we love, in much more laid back jobs hopefully having a better daily quality of life.  This ast winter I got hooked on the show Heroes (only like what 2 years behind?) and one of the lines is about how the importance of our lives is really about the human connections we make and the interactions we have with each other. So true!  And yet how often do we go day to day and pass up the opportunity to talk to someone new or turn down an offer to get together with a friend?  I want to find people I can connect with and want to go back to placing value on those connections and relationships big and small.  I have *met* so many fabulous people online through blogs, email, forums. It's time to share in real time as well.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? - tough one..thanks to mp3 and napster (and the fab dj scotsman) I have come into contact with so many GREAT GREAT new bands and songs.  If I had to pick one it would be Ingrid Michaelson "the way I am" ..it's just so sweet and makes me realize that yes, after almost 8 years I'm still in love.  Also Rogue Traders "Here come the drums" because what's not to like about 80's sounding candy euro pop especially in correlation to the new UK Dr Who?

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? - happier
b) thinner or fatter? - same!
c) richer or poorer? - umm...two mortgages...poorer in the short term for richer in the long.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? - More fun..the kind you can't tell everyone about!

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? - Worrying. I'm a worrier.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? - Chaz and I closed on our place December 21st. so Christmas was spent together going between freaking out (holy shit! we owe how much?!) and flipping out (WOO HOO NOLA!) We were broke with a very set budget for pressies, but we have each other and the pups and it's all good.

21. Did you fall in love in 2007? - I think again..yes.  I think we've cycled around and I'm coming into the infatuation stage again.  I look at him and think...damn girl ya done good!

22. How many one-night stands? - Do mental ones count?

23. What was your favorite TV program? - Chaz and I stick with netflix and this year we discovered Heroes and Dr Who.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? - Hate is such a strong word.  I trust my instincts now and just stay away from the energy drainers, the time wasters and the game players.  I also learned that I can forgive but not forget. Some wrongs just can never be righted for whatever reason and it's ok.  I am the strong person before you now because of 20+ years of hurting and plain shittyness...some brought on by myself and some through no fault of my own.  It's ok to remove people from your life if you just don't think it's worth it. 

25. What was the best book you read? - I love me some PaperbackSwap.  I read a lot..no outstanding favorites.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? - I am just constantly amazed by technology today...eegads I sound ancient.  Seriously...mp3 players, music sharing, pod casts, satellite...it's just awesome.

27. What did you want and get? - To start a new chapter!

28. What did you want and not get? - I really wanted Tim Gunn to call me just coz and invite me for tea or the opera or something.  *sniff*  I thought we connected, but maybe it was just like summer camp kumbaya euphoria? 

29. What was your favorite film of this year? - hmmm Pirates?  Sweeney?  Ok maybe I'm just focusing on the recent Rolling Stone with Johnny Depp   I'm sure there were lots of yummy movies...I love the movies!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? - I turned 35 and we spent a long weekend in New Orleans..it was fantastic!  We had just started house hunting, found a fantastic b and b with wonderful owners, and started bonding with the locals!

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? - Calorie free life time supply of Ben and Jerry's?  A weekend tryst with Johnny Depp? Being lead singer for a 40's big band?  No clue.  I try to make my dreams come true.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? - I'm a siren and when in the dressing room think what would catherine zeta jones do?

33. What kept you sane? - Chaz, really having some QT with my old college buddy, snuggling my puppies every night before sleep.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? - fancy as in the hots right?  Well did I mention Johnny Depp?  Also Hugh Laurie..yum.  And Giada DeLaurentis..she's adorable...I can't help it.

35. What political issue stirred you the most? - Politics in general do not stir me.

36. Who did you miss? - I miss the feeling of being in a creative environment.  The week of tv taping was just so amazing for that...I hadn't realized how much I miss the energy of a creative collective group of people together just getting it done and putting on a show!

37. Who was the best new person you met? - My scrapbooking gals.  I love Ellie..she's just so cool.  Cheryl, Janice, Melissa...just great people.  I also loved meeting Tim Gunn, Benny Ninja and Hassan Ildari - the director for my episode.  I bonded with all three in a completely different way and that connection continues to have an impression upon me.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007. - It's all relative.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. - Coz you take me the way I am.

Ok how tired are you going to be of me y'alling here and y'alling there and y'alling everywhere?!  Well too damn bad..the shit is contagious or bananas if your Gwen Stefani.

So..where to start??  First off, for those of you waiting on pins and needles with fingers crossed...the deed is done!!! We closed on the New Orleans house last Friday...WOO!  Yes it's true, we are official land barons!  And scared shitless!  But hey...at some point you just have to take the plunge.  You can prepare to your heart's content, but when the right thing comes along you just have to go for it.  Or at least I do. 

Piccies here:

http://www.greysangel.com/nolahouse/FrameSet.htm

It's a two bedroom Victorian Camelback with a 1 br apartment in the back.  We have a deck, a balcony and some fruit bearing trees.  We are in the Marigny Triangle and for the first time in my life I will not be a commuter...I will be in the heart and pulse of a real neighborhood that I love.  We are on the corner of Frenchmen..the pulse of the Triangle.  We have a park two blocks away and the French Quarter 4 blocks away.  We stroll down the main street filled with soulful music and the sweet smells of praline and french roast.  Everyone looks like they just came out of a 15 minute shopping spree in a thrift store.  Everyone has a bicycle.

Why New Orleans? Well the easiest answer is why not?  I have so many times extolled on the virtues of New Orleans.  Sadly, I do not have a fancy blog where I connect topics with "tags" so if you find me repeating myself just skim on by.  There are so many reasons, and I think even more reasons post Katrina.  But at the heart of *our* reason is something that happened over this past weekend when we were there closing on our place.  Everyone we talked to congratulated us ...especially the marigny locals who were quick to point out what block they lived on.  We met a bar tendress of the local Irish pub, we met a bar owner of this very cool Russian lounge just on the fringe where the quarter meets the marigny.  We met the owner of Electric ladyland tattoo and finally we met our next door neighbors who popped by our open door when we were busy cleaning our fingers to the bone.  We were welcomed with open arms by everyone and given referrals and references by Phillip and David from Royal Courtyard BB where we have stayed in the past.  They are our neighbors now too.

Not since college have I really felt connected to a place.  In music school, it was the music that was connecting us as well as that tender age of finally leaving home and carving out a true place as an adult.  With NYC I never had that luxury.  And yes, I can easily say it's the NYer attitude I don't like, or blame it on feeling I missed out on the true NYC experience never having lived in the heart of Manhattan.  And a friend also mentioned the possibility that I was never open to accept NY..that I came here to sing and never gave it a chance as a place to lay down roots.  It could be all of those and then some. 

At the end of the day, New Orleans calls to us and has done so since we got married in 2000.  New Orleans is 100% female...all mystery and history.  She's a well worn and weathered gypsy who has seen and done it all and still has some charms up her sleeve.  She's decadence and deterioration, exotic and earthy, faded glory and yet still so much promise.  Passion pours out in food, in music and in art.  People sigh and cry over politics and poverty, but they also know that it isn't any better anywhere else, and they may as well live with it and try to make their way in it all.  In New Orleans, money doesn't make a man, experiences do.

The craziest reaction to our plans has been actually a similar thought from a couple of people along the lines of "wow, it's really cool that you are doing what you want to do".

Um....(insert scooby rrrughnh?!)  isn't that one of the few joys of aging and being an adult?  I have kind of always done what I wanted to or what I set my mind to so this is not something new for me.  And I find it kind of sad? depressing? strange? that other people wouldn't live like this as well.  I'm not saying there aren't prices to pay for forging ahead and doing what you want to do.  I mean, most married folk have kids.  Most have found their "home" by now and have put down some roots and accumulated a group of like minded friends etc.  Chaz and I don't have kids and haven't really lain down any roots...or none that would keep us grounded in one place.  Which is exciting and isolating at the same time. 

I hope New Orleans is "home" for us...or at least the next leg of our journey together.  Chaz says it may not be our final stop (he knows I've got the wanderlust), but it's going to be a fun one.  I spent my NYC years getting depressed, getting fat, getting my shit together, getting married, getting healthy.  While I've had fun, I've also worked a lot and grown up a little too much.  I feel it's time to let my hair down and be the person I wanted to be in my 20's that somehow I didn't quite have the guts and/or expressive tools for.  We're ready!

I wish you all a happy happy holiday.  It's just Chaz and I and the puppies today and I'm feeling less than fresh with a post stress cold knocking me for a loop.  But it's ok.  We have each other.  We have the promise of the goals and dreams we have for ourselves.  It's time to pull out last year's New Year's post and see how I did.  Like Tim says, Make it Work!!! I intend to...life is too short not too!

How y'all doin?

As you can see, I'm planning for a much needed six day vacation in sunny New Orleans and I can. not. wait.  The short weekend we were there was just a teaser what with the filming we had to do for the show and stuff.  It's totally crazy (CRAZY!) how fast this year has gone by...I seriously feel like it's been one big whirlygig of adventure between home renovations, Key West, the Tim Gunn show, work craziness etc.  That's not to say I'm not thrilled with how much we have accomplished this year; me personally with all my little life goals and then both of us as a couple with the house and our future planning. It's hard to believe that in six short months I will be vested and can really begin to focus on the next stage of our lives.

Not much to report on the weight loss front...in fact I'm the same which is a good thing I suppose as my exercise has been limited of late.  I had finished up my boxing membership shortly before the taping of the show and then once I started with the online puppy classes, I just figured financially and time wise it was better to just put off another membership for awhile.  So I have been doing my 3-4 days at Curves including my power hour which is a lot less than the amount of activity I was doing before.  On the other hand, I've gotten much better with eating leftovers and food I make at home.  I've cut out a lot of eating out at lunch time which I'm sure is shaving lots of calories so it feels like a bit of a trade off.  Now that my puppy classes have moved onto the practical which is once a week, I think I will have time to either pick up boxing again or try something like dancing.  The game plan is to pick up on that once I return from vacation and the land of the Lucky Dog.  With any luck I'll keep the home lunch thing going and maybe drop a little more weight which would be bonus!  I've been saying that every pound on top of this is gravy and I mean that.  I'm not willing to go to crazy cakes place mentally in order to get down to something I won't be able to realistically maintain.  If anything, I have proven that I can maintain onederland...WOO HOO!  I am grateful! 

On the Tim Gunn front, sadly he probably doesn't even have time to breathe never mind become my best friend.  I've watched three of four shows and it's an ok show.  Some parts are better than others and I think it has tremendous potential if it gets picked up for another season.  I have some serious love for the people that were involved with making the week the experience it was for me...especially Carmen Marc Valvo, Benny Ninja and of course, Tim.  Now that the show has aired and the dust has settled from all the positive and negative feedback, I can sit back with the warm fuzzy feelings I had.  On a positive note, I'm absolutely thrilled the positive response I have gotten from curvy women everywhere and I am so proud to be able to have represented the real and sometimes forgotten woman.  On a snarky note, my advice to all women is to get over the obsession with fat arms already!!!!  I am stunned how people went on and on about my damn arms ...and I don't even think they are that bad!  I mean yes a little floppy and wide, but geez louise!  The only thing a sleeve does is drape over the thickness…it's not like a sleeve creates chiseled guns people!!  Be sleeveless and be proud! I mean the alternative is going under the knife which leaves you with a scar from your elbow to your armpit...um...no thanks.  I'll keep working out and hoping for the best.  No guy in my life has ever said "whoa, nice face, but DAMN those flabby arms".  Also...when you have 200 lbs to lose, your big arms are the least of your worries.  Well actually the gap between my teeth is truly the least of my worries...another flaw people mercilessly bashed me on.  Whatever.  The gap is me…and Madonna!  And Lauren Hutton!  Rock on toothy gals!

On the work front…times they be a changin’.  Things are still up in the air in terms of my department and my job security.  The good news is 1)I am 6 precious months from being vested and 2)a job came up in the foundation which is the philanthropic area of the bank that I think I would LOVE to work for.  I passed round 1 with flying colors and I’m onto round 2 tomorrow.  I would appreciate whatever warm fuzzies, vibes, prayers anyone is offering.  Chaz work is going well and he’s happy enough to not have any stress spill over into our private lives and that is awesome.  Other than that we’re just kind of trucking along, getting ready for Halloween which I’m very excited to see endless night doing an event in NYC…WOOHOO!  Time to get the bump in the night freak on!  Before you know it, it will be turkey time and then holidays and time to re evaluate the goals for next year!